haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I supernannyed him into submission
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
