hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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