my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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