why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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