Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sponge bath it is.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
