i may or may not be watching the land before time
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
