I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
