Little spoons don't ask big questions
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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