This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i think my cat just said my name.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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