Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
