Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
