Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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