i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
