We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
