and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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