a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
