I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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