dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize