she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
