I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
