It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
