carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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