apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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