i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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