you win again, gameday.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
