their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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