I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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