im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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