How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
