oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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