go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
