grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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