I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
