Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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