:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
