Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
