so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
