guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
