she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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