I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
