she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
