Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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