we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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