just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
