So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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