wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize