Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
