i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
