My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
