I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
