If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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