there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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