the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
