You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
