well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
