are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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