you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
