i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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