i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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