There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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