As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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