so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
