Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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