I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
