I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
