I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
