there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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