Jerry, you need to find god
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
so much tequila, so little girl.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
