wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
