yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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