its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
